Too often, conversations about sex are shaped by fear, shame, or silence – especially for young people navigating cultural, religious, or personal stigma. These messages can shut down curiosity, stop them from seeking help or advice, and spread misinformation.
That’s why the way we talk about our health, including how we talk about sexual health, matters just as much as what we’re saying. In fact, it can make or break whether a young person feels safe to ask questions about this topic or stays quiet.
A sex positive approach to sexual health education isn’t about encouraging sex. In fact, evidence tells us that sexual health education helps to equip young people with the knowledge, skills and values to have safe, fulfilling and enjoyable relationships and to make responsible and safe choices that promote and protect their own health, safety and wellbeing and that of others. A sex positive approach is about creating a safe, inclusive space where young people can learn, feel heard, and make informed choices about their bodies and relationships.
It puts values like consent, pleasure, safety, and choice at the centre — and gives young people the tools to take charge of their sexual health.
Whether you’re running a workshop, handing out condoms, or having a one-on-one chat, taking a sex positive approach can help.
In a young person’s health context, sex positivity is the idea that sex and sexuality is a natural part of human development — and that conversations about it should be open, shame-free, and inclusive.
Sex positive sexual health education isn’t about telling young people they should or shouldn’t be having sex. It’s about acknowledging that:
Put simply, sex positivity helps young people feel seen, heard, and supported in their choices — whatever those choices may be.
Many young people grow up surrounded by shame-based or fear-driven messages about sex — whether through school, family, cultural background, or religion. They might be told that sex is dangerous, dirty, or bad. This fear and shame often can leave young people feeling confused, embarrassed, or afraid to ask for help or unsure about how to get the information they need.
Sex positivity is about creating a safe, supportive space where young people can talk openly about sex, relationships, and health. By embracing a sex positive approach, professionals working with young people can:
A sex positive approach to sexual health education can also lead to better health outcomes. Young people who receive inclusive, non-judgemental sexual health education are more likely to:
Here are a few practical ways to bring sex positivity into your everyday work with young people:
Use inclusive, non-judgemental language
Avoid labelling things as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Ditch words like ‘clean’ or ‘dirty’ when talking about STIs — say ‘tested’ or ‘untested’ instead. And skip calling something ‘normal’ — try ‘common’ to keep things assumption and stigma-free.
Talk about more than just risk
Sex education shouldn’t just be about what can go wrong. Talk about pleasure, comfort, communication, and boundaries too. Let young people know that sex should feel safe and good. That means helping them understand how to express what they want, ask questions, and say no without guilt. Yes, understanding the risks of STIs and unplanned pregnancy matters — but so does everything else that makes sex respectful, consensual, and positive.
Validate all experiences and identities
Make sure your language and educational materials reflect a range of identities, bodies, relationships, and experiences. Use examples that aren’t just cisgender and heterosexual. Acknowledge differences in experience due to disability, race, culture, or gender.
Need resources? Browse and order our range of sex positive posters and flyers.
Let young people lead
Start by listening. Before jumping into information, ask what they already know, what they’re curious about, and what they want to learn. This builds trust and helps them feel heard. It also means you can tailor your response to their needs, rather than overwhelming them or missing the mark. When young people feel in control of the conversation, they’re more likely to engage, ask questions, and take in what you’re saying.
Support safer sex skills
Knowing the facts is one thing — knowing what to do is another. Make safer sex easy and practical by showing, not just telling. Normalise STI testing as a routine part of health care. Keep condoms and lube visible and accessible, and show how to use them with real-world guides, demonstrations, or videos. The more familiar and shame-free it feels, the more confident young people will be when it matters.
You might be thinking ‘hey, I am sex positive’. But you’d be surprised how often our personal values can get in the way without us realising.
That’s why we created the Exploring Values tool—a self-reflection resource to help you consider your own attitudes and identify any unconscious biases that might impact how you support young people.
If a young person has a question you’re not sure how to answer, or they want to ask anonymously, Nurse Nettie is another great resource. Nurse Nettie is an online service for young people, providing access to a qualified sexual health nurse for confidential, non-judgemental support and answers.
Remember, sex positive education isn’t about telling young people what to do. It’s about helping them feel confident to make their own choices. Visit our resources, tools, games, and training sections for more information on how to bring sex-positivity into your work.
