Dating apps and social media have changed how young people may choose to form and have relationships. These platforms offer connection and self-expression but also bring risks like privacy concerns, exploitation, and online peer pressure to engage in different activities. Then, there’s the jump from chatting online to meeting in person—where consent enters a whole new context and the risk of STIs may become real within intimate relationships.
As professionals working with young people, you’re in a unique position to provide non-judgemental support and help young people navigate these interactions safely.
Types of digital dating and potential risks
- Sexting: Sending messages, photos, or videos of a sexual nature. While this can be fun and consensual, young people need to consider privacy and security risks.
- Dating apps: Some online dating platforms are popular for meeting up, but they can also expose users to catfishing, predatory behaviour, and safety concerns when meeting in real life. Most of these also have a minimum age requirement of 18 years old.
- Social media: Some social media apps are great for self-expression but can also be environments where grooming and online abuse occurs.
Consent in the digital context
Digital spaces require the same respect and boundaries as in-person interactions.
“Consent is an essential part of healthy relationships, including intimate and sexual online relationships.
Legally, this means people have to ask for permission before sexting each other. For example, sending explicit sexual messages or images of yourself without consent could be considered sexual harassment…. Remember, it’s always OK to say no to sending or receiving nudes or sexual messages. Also, even if you freely give your consent at the start, you can change your mind at any time.” – eSafety Commissioner.
You can help young people by:
- Explaining consent: Consent must be clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing—even online. Download our factsheet on consent, age and the law.
- Helping them set boundaries: Encourage them to have open discussions about comfort levels and expectations with their partner/s.
- Recognising coercion: Teach young people to identify pressure to send explicit content or other manipulative behaviours.
Consent and sexting
Even with consent in place, sexting is illegal if someone involved is under 18.
Under the national law, it is illegal to make, share, request, access or possess images or recordings that are offensive and show a person under 18 (or show someone who looks like they are under 18) in a sexual way. This includes texts or pictures of children and young people who are:
- posing in a sexual way
- involved in a sexual act
- with someone else who is posing in a sexual way or involved in a sexual act
- showing their private parts.
These sorts of images or videos are also called ‘child abuse material’. In NSW, it is a crime to possess, make or share child abuse material that shows a child under the age of 16.”
– Youth Law Australia.
You can help young people by:
- Explaining legal risks: The only way to be legally safe when sexting is if both people are over 18 and consent is present.
- Discussing screenshot and forwarding risks: Once shared, control is lost over those images or messages. Even trusted people could lose their phone or have their accounts hacked.
- Encouraging safer practices: If young people choose to sext, they should avoid identifiable features in images and use encrypted apps or functions like WhatsApp’s ‘View Once’ feature.
Staying safe on dating apps
Online dating platforms can be fun but also carry risks.
“Nearly three-quarters (72.3%) of Australians using dating apps have experienced online sexual harassment, aggression or violence by someone they had met through an online dating platform in the last five years.
Whether you’re interested in a relationship or a casual hook-up, chatting online can be a fun and positive way to connect with someone new – but it’s important to be aware of the risks.” – eSafety Commissioner.
You can help young people by:
- Helping them understand safety when choosing a dating app: They should look for apps with privacy features, identity verification, and the ability to block or report user. They should also review the app’s community guidelines, privacy policies, and reporting processes before signing up.
- Advise them to set up profiles safely: Young people should avoid linking social media as it gives away personal information, use only a first name or nickname, and choose unique profile photos that can’t be reversed searched online.
- Navigating boundaries online and offline: Advise the young people you work with to avoid oversharing personal information, especially before meeting in person. If meeting with someone online, meet in public, inform someone of plans, never feel pressured into sexual activities, and use condoms if sex is (consensually) on the cards.
Staying safe on social media
Social media carries many of the same risks as dating apps.
“Meeting through a dating app (if you’re old enough) or on social media, or in a game, chat or any other online space can be exciting – but online dating comes with risks. Not everyone you connect with will be the right person for you, or honest about who they are.
Look out for warning signs of abuse and trust your gut feelings. If something doesn’t feel right, then it’s probably not right. If you’re in doubt, get out of the situation as quickly as possible.”– eSafety Commissioner.
You can help young people by:
- Educating them on grooming signs: Grooming is when someone older tricks someone under 18 into thinking they’re in a relationship, so they can abuse them. It often starts with excessive attention, flattery, and personal questions. If someone online quickly asks for personal details, requests secrecy, or pressures them to share images, it’s a red flag.
- Advising to keep social profiles private: Public accounts increase the risk of identity theft and unwanted attention. Encourage young people to check privacy settings and limit who can see their posts and profiles.
- Helping them understand sextortion and cyberstalking: Sextortion involves threats to share intimate images, while cyberstalking includes persistent unwanted attention. Encourage caution with private chats, photo sharing, and location tracking.
- Encouraging them to tell a friend: Advise young people to always tell a friend before a date. They should share where they are meeting, use tools like Find My Friends to share their location, and send a screenshot of the profile for extra safety.
Technology offers exciting opportunities for young people to connect. It can be fun and consensual, but the risks are real.
By sharing some of the tips above, you can help young people make informed choices, set boundaries, and protect their privacy.
